This column is all about sex, erectile dysfunction and soiled blue dresses. Parental discretion is strongly advised.

Well, it’s not really; I just wanted to get your attention. But please, read on – it may be sordid enough for you.

I pride myself in having an open mind about most things, such as sacrificing chickens to Babalu or other Orisha in Santeria – as long as it’s not my chicken or in my living room.

So, when I heard that the WSU Athletic Department wanted to give the students the chance to vote for “voluntary” increases in fees to help pay for projected expansions of Martin Stadium, I listened with an open mind and the trust of a 5 year old. After all, the men who came to make a presentation were nicely dressed and clean-shaven.

The proposal was made last year to the ASWSU and the GPSA, the representative organizations for undergraduates, graduate and professional students.

The ASWSU voted yes. We – the GPSA – voted a most definite no.

This means undergrads now pay an additional $50 per semester.

Associate Director of Athletics Pete Isakson was present at the GPSA Senate meeting when the “no” vote was cast. At the time he voiced his “disappointment” and also mentioned that, “Even if you won’t take part, this project will be funded, one way or another.” When I delivered the summary of this meeting last year, some of my friends in the Department of Political Science insinuated that the Athletic Department would make us pay, one way or another. Given that these friends tend to be unkempt, hairy and foul-smelling, it was difficult for me to put much weight to their suspicions. Having an open mind, I attribute this to the dire economic life of a graduate or professional student, as opposed to personal disgust of the combination of soap and water.

I explained to them that Isakson looked like a nice man, dressed in matching colors and smelled of fresh Irish Spring, and I stressed that “just because someone dresses well and is clean-shaven doesn’t mean he does shady business.” I went as far as to bet all of my United Naďve Students Credit Union savings account that Isakson was on the up and clear with us.

You will then understand my shock when I realized that the cost of a sports pass for graduate and professional students increased from $99 to $175 per semester.

My colleagues said, “I told you so.” This now included some of the nice ones who shower regularly and are rather comely to the eye.

When I spoke with Athletic Director Jim Sterk about this matter, he explained they had to make a choice at the last minute regarding the cost of sports passes, given the projected cost of a $7-million expansion. It seems that graduate and professional students were the only groups not actively taking part in the project – but, after all, the Athletic Departmet had given us the right to vote, whether or not we wanted to participate.

Regarding the reasons for targeting only the graduate and professional students for increases, Sterk explained to me he gave his word to the undergrads that he would not raise their cost for at least two years, given they agreed on the increase in tuition.

Now, I believe the heart of the Athletic Department is in the right place. The vision it has is that of Saturday’s game against USC, where you could not fit an extra hiney into the stadium even if you had liposuction the night before.

Moreover, like any business, the Athletic Department has the right to adjust the cost of the service they provide to cover operating and expansion fees. In that sense, I have no problem with the extra $76 per semester.

On the other hand, I have a big problem understanding their logic.

In my mind, and that of my unkempt colleagues, if someone tells me I have the power to vote yes or no on increased fees, that means my vote counts for something.

When Isakson came back to visit with the GPSA last week and we asked him, “Why did you increase our fees if we voted not to allow you to do so?” his answer was, “We didn’t think it was fair to allow only one group of students to tax themselves.” The question then becomes, why give us the power to vote if you are going to circumvent our decision in the end?

It seems the answer to this, according to Isakson, is: “There is nothing we can do about what has already been done. What I want to know is, what can we do to get more grad students to come to the stadium?” I don’t have an answer for you, Isakson; I had to empty out my United Naďve Students Credit Union savings account to pay off my bet with my colleagues. Right now I am all out of cash, but at least my friends are clean-shaven and smelling of Irish Spring.