Last year, The New York Times published a front-page article about a study that found that 19- to 22-year-old women are more interested in marriage and family than careers. The results said young women would rather stay at home than be in the workforce. Although the study used shoddy collection methods, had a small sample size and had few survey questions, the findings ring true among some women at college. Extremely competent, intelligent and successful young women are preferring to settle down. Studies like this one are perpetuating the misconception that motherhood is essential to womanhood – that women are not valuable or feminine if they are not mothers. This notion of domesticity seems romantic, but underneath the idyllic cupcakes and play dates, there seems to be an unrealistic expectation for homemakers. Young women today, myself included, are faced with many choices, and luckily, have the opportunity to make them. We are the most highly educated of all generations, raised by second-wave mothers with the knowledge that we can be anything and do anything we want. According to an October 2005 article in USA Today, 57 percent of the college population nationwide are women. Finally women are overcoming institutionalized sexism in education and rising to the top of the class, graduating with high grades and high potential. This is vastly different than other generations, when a secretary was something to aspire to. This leaves women in a complex predicament. We can go to college and have a career and a family. Maybe some of us want to stay home. However, it seems that there is a bias, and that the domestic lifestyle has been shoved down women’s throats since birth. Baby dolls, mini kitchens and wedding dresses – young girls are inundated with propaganda that romanticizes domestic lifestyles. Apparently, said Julie Neuffer, another women’s movement exists – one that embraces domesticity and defined gender roles. Neuffer, a doctoral candidate in history, is writing her dissertation on “the other women’s movement,” and its iconic leader, Helen Andelin, the author of “Fascinating Womanhood.” Neuffer coined the phrase “the other women’s movement” to explain Andelin’s ideas about the art of domesticity: women returning to their religiously prescribed roles and expecting men to do the same. “It’s a movement of choice ... the choice to be a stay-at-home mom and be respected for that,” Neuffer said. During the 1960s, Betty Friedan wrote the pivotal women’s movement novel “The Feminine Mystique.” She wrote about the “Mrs. Degree,” about women who were attending college only to find a husband and drop out before graduation to get married. These days, however, women are going to college because they want to be educated, not to find a husband. The romanticizing of domesticity and the supposed resurgence of homemaking is creating another wave of the Mrs. Degree, one that values education and competence but still wants to settle down.

Camella Jones, a senior psychology major, said she is getting married after college even though she’ll probably be going on to higher education. She said she doesn’t really want to have any kids herself because she will have a stepson, but she thinks it would be fun to be stay at home and have a family. On the other side, Jones’ friend, Betsy Anderson, a junior English major, does not think staying home to raise a family would be fun. “I wouldn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom,” she said. Anderson said she wants to have children, but would prefer to have a career. This shows how diverse people are and the hard decisions they are faced with, and that the whole motherhood-versus-career argument cannot be polarized into right or wrong. The whole debate is multifaceted.

“There is no such thing as an either-or,” said Amy Canfield, a doctoral candidate in history who teaches a class about women in the West. “It’s just a matter of balancing out what you want. If you want to stay at home, stay at home – just make sure it’s the choice you want.” In the past, there has been a question of working and being a mother. “Women have always worked and women obviously have always been mothers,” said Canfield. “It’s always a blend.” She added, “There’s been no question of men being fathers and working.” As society evolves, as well as the perceptions of social acceptability, so do the options for men and women inside and outside the home. Some men opt to be stay-at-home dads or go into fields that are commonly dominated by women. However, women who choose to work are sometimes stigmatized as being “unfeminine” or “bad mothers.” But there is no room for name-calling in this modern world. Women and men are going to make the decisions regarding family that are right for them.