It’s like the kiss of death.

“Hey, let’s hang out sometime … as friends.” Ouch. But the moment may still be salvageable, depending on the situation. Here are some situational examples that may lead to “the friend date.” 1. She maybe sort of likes you and you kind of like her a little, so you start hanging out until your obvious chemistry transforms the friendship into something more. If I had a nickel for every time this has happened to me or someone I know, I don’t think I’d even have a whole dollar. I’d have maybe 50 cents at best. Usually, one or both parties needs to make a move and make something happen. Your horoscope will never say “(Insert name) likes you! You guys are officially together now! How great, you didn’t even have to do any work.” Go ahead and flip the page to check it right now. I’ll wait. Now that you have that out of your system, you can listen properly. Stop waiting for the stars to align and make it happen already.

2. One party likes the other, but the feelings are not mutual. In this situation, I always find myself giving the same advice. Tell him or her how you feel. I know what you’re thinking, “If I say something, and my feelings aren’t mutual, it could ruin our friendship.” Um, really? And the fact that you’re friends with this person while you secretly harbor intense feelings for him or her makes for a great friendship? I know you know better than that. Do something for yourself and talk it out. If you don’t do it now, a few years down the road when you rarely (if ever) see this friend, you’ll wonder about what could’ve been. I’ll admit, there is a serious chance this idea could go up in flames, but every situation is different. You need to decide what is right for you. Weigh the options. If this person is a true friend to you, even if he or she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, they should understand that you feel it was important to get your feelings out there.

If you’re so lucky as to be on the receiving end of this situation, see 2b.

2b. On a similar note, if you have a friend who comes to you professing feelings, don’t be a jerk. Your first reaction may be to shoot him or her down and run like the mob is after your watch, but you need to slow down and think about it. Let your friend down gently – this definitely wasn’t something he or she went out and decided on a whim. Give them the space they need. All the while remain resolute that you’re still a friend, but just a friend. Also, take it easy on the friend dates in this case. Your admirer might still be pulling for sudden chemistry to change the situation.

3. You don’t like him or her. You’re just friends all around. To me, this is what the “friend date” was invented for. Two friends go bowling, bond and have a chance to talk about anything your roommate is tired of hearing. The issue with this is the common misunderstanding that comes from lack of clarification. Let the record show – friend date. As in just friends. It’s not the forbidden fruit so stop being afraid to hang out with your friends for fear of someone getting the wrong idea. This person is your friend for a reason, so let the cards fall and go chill somewhere. I’m sure you’re dying to tell this friend about the recent drama in your life. Bust out the bowling shoes and bring on the friend dates.

I feel like I should take this last moment to make a side note for anyone hoping to learn more about the inner workings of a crush’s mind. Keep in mind if, for instance, you get stood up on your friend date – it’s not going anywhere. If you are the object of your friend’s affection, they wouldn’t be blowing you off for little to no reason or without a call.