Amid the desolation and destruction wrought on the university by the $54.2 million budget cut, it’s heartening to know the Second Life WSU campus was able to launch.

There are those who might feel the need to mock such a move. Second Life hasn’t been culturally relevant for more than a year, some might say. Others might point to the fact that all the reputable news organizations (Reuters, Sky News) who once had virtual bureaus have closed up shop, making the primary application for the Murrow College of Communication unnecessary and useless.

Virtual 3D representations (avatars) don’t aid student-teacher interaction in any way, shape or form, some of the more cynical among us may allege.

But I think that’s missing the point. I mean, at a cost of only $900 per year (plus however much time was spent mapping the campus in a virtual world), how can we afford not to have our own island? This is a Web 2.0 world, we have to synergize our collaborative energies in order to fuse our bandwidth so we can hop on the appropriate paradigm shift.

I think there are more steps WSU can take that will further enhance our education experience and online exposure. Here are a few ideas, which I offer to the university for a mere history professor’s salary – say, $245,000 or so?

A CAMPUS FULL OF TWITS Twitter is the next big thing, experiencing a 752 percent growth in unique visitors in 2008. While we definitely need to take our cues from our use of Second Life (i.e. starting our involvement long after everyone stopped using it), this is something that could be huge.

While delivering lectures, professors and (more likely) T.A.s could be tweeting the information to the world at large. After all, most students are staring at either a laptop or their cell phone under the table (terribly clever by the way, it’s not obvious to anyone), when they even bother to show up at all. This way, we can reach both the chronic skippers and the people who don’t pay attention. 2 b or not 2 b, any1? GTA: PULLMAN Rockstar Games, the creative geniuses behind the “Grand Theft Auto” series, are constantly pumping out new sequels by merely changing locations. I think this is something we can capitalize on.

What are the main things you do in any “GTA” game? Assault people, buy drugs and find prostitutes. Pullman has the football team, a few fraternities who know how to party and liberal arts majors. It’s like the game writes itself!

WSU, BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUSCH LIGHT Corporate sponsorships and product placement are the penultimate examples of synergies in our modern economy. Americans are constantly bombarded on a daily basis with advertisements, so why not integrate them into the curriculum? Sure, we may have to give up some control over the content, but that’s a small price to pay.

We could have accounting classes sponsored by major financial companies (if there are any left). Maybe we could outsource our campus e-mail to Microsoft so they can receive advertising revenue and we can get something absolutely no one will use. Or we could have agricultural classes sponsored by Montsano. What’s that, Common Reading Program? This isn’t a new idea?

FREE iPHONES Several universities, including Duke, Yale, MIT and Stanford are subsidizing or giving away iPods and iPhones for students. WSU should go a step further, and give away a free iPhone. It’s kind of like AT&T – you’ve got to give people a reason to choose you. While I’m sure there are some techno-babble explanations regarding educational opportunities I could wow you with, I really just want an iPhone. At least then I’ll have something to play with besides my degree when I sit at home endlessly trolling Craigslist for a job. Does Burger King have an app that asks if you want fries with that?