Let’s face facts, we are in the prime of our lives. College exciting and definitely ideal for starting relationships that could lead to marriage.

Love is valued in all cultures and, and in the Christian lifestyle, it is the greatest commandment God gave us – love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

However, romantic love is different than putting an arm around someone when they need it or complimenting them when they degrade you. The biblical view of a loving relationship between a man and a woman is often misconstrued. Old-fashioned values where the man is perceived as being a leader are sometimes translated as a man being an abusive, domineering jerk who loves to be loved. This is beyond false.

The Bible does say that a man should lead the family, and that a woman should be submissive, but she is not seen as less.

Scripture actually tells men to honor women, to be respectful and love them for all they are worth. Men should follow the example of Christ, who represents a groom in the Bible. He died for all of humanity, humbled himself, acted as a servant and loved everyone.

This is how a man should treat a woman. He must think of his partner first, then himself. If this means skipping “man time” in to take care of her when she’s ill, then it must be done. Sacrifice for the other person is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Another essential element of the Christian view of relationships is the pursuit. At the summer project I went on, we discussed the difference between boys and men.

Boys chase women, men pursue them. Think about it. A chase involves a quick thrill to get what we want immediately, and that’s what gives us a fix. You’ve heard the phrase “thrill of the chase.” A pursuit is more time consuming, more loving, deeper, longer lasting and ultimately a lifetime commitment.

A man steps up to the plate and will pursue a woman he truly wants to be with. This may involve coffee dates once a week or asking her friends what her favorite flowers are, having four-hour talks about interests and whatever else is necessary for getting to know a person.

When a man pursues a woman, he puts himself out there, while it is up to the woman to decide whether or not she will accept him. If she doesn’t, my advice is to back off and stay friends. If she says yes, I advise you to build a very strong friendship and continue building upon that love until it blossoms into a romantic, loving relationship.

Oh, and here’s a little hint for the guys – women really love confidence. Ever notice how some couples seem completely mismatched? It’s due to that whole confidence thing.

I wish you the best of luck this year. Remember that biblical love is not an issue of superiority and hierarchy, but of respect, virtue and mutual emotion.