I. Love. Wings. Period. They are, quite simply, my favorite food. I love them all: regular, buffalo, spicy, BBQ – you name it, I’ll scarf it. Part of the appeal is the grubby nature of it all. Wings are dirty, and I like ‘em. They coat your fingers and make them slick with sauce.

Your face gets greasy after gnawing on the petite little perambulators until there’s nothing left but bone. A good wing is like a good rib – it makes you feel like a caveman (or cavewoman) when you’re eating it. I love crunching though a tasty chicken bone and looking up to see some vegan or vegetarian disdainfully glaring at me over their organic microbrew. Wings are deliciously base. They feel like carnal accomplishment. With each bite you’re saying, “Yes, mankind is the master of nature. Why else would I kill a baby chicken just to chomp on the smallest part of it? Because I can. That’s why.”

I guess you could call me a wing connoisseur. I’ve sampled the tiny trotter board of fare at basically every establishment in Pullman. And I must say, my favorite place to get a basket of wings would be The Zzu on Merman Drive, located just past Zoe’s. That’s my usual wing spot, because The Zzu is conveniently located right in the heart of what I like to call “Apartmenistan,” the long strip of apartment complexes running up Valley and Merman. Like everywhere else, Wednesday night is wing night at The Zzu, and you can get 10 wings for $3.50. And like almost everywhere else, their wings are delicious. Unlike everywhere else though, it’s the wing accessories that make their wings the best. And any girl from Greek Row will tell you, it’s all about the accessories (that, and the shorts made to fit a 6-year–old, but that’s another column). Let me explain. Hot wings and any old beer is great. But hot wings, a $1.50 Tecante and a shot of cheap tequila are a combo forged in fires of perfection. I don’t know why the combination of those three things is so good. It just is. It’s like cookies and milk. Like Port and cigars. Like peas and carrots. The spicy soft white meat, the agave with the wedge of lime mixed with an ice cold cerveza – is totally money. Plus, the bartenders at the Zzu are quick and courteous. They don’t serve all the hot chicks first. Other places hire smokin’ female bartenders, because they think it looks glamorous of something. But hiring bartenders on the sole criteria that they’re attractive usually means the customers get treated like crap – it’s frustrating. I don’t really care if my bartender has their hair did or sparkly glitter splashed across their faces. I just want my beer cold and my wings hot. And the best place for cold, cheap Mexican beer and the tastiest spicy wings in town is definitely The Zzu.