When this year’s all-new 10 nominations (but if you search far back into the award’s history, there were originally 10 nominees) were announced for best picture, I at first was ready to begin this article with the brutal slaughtering of “Avatar.” I was all set to relay the injustice as to why a giant “FernGully,” video game cutscene with no plot and appalling script could be up for “Best Picture” until I noticed another nomination. For some unearthly reason, “The Blind Side” was also nominated. Sandra Bullock with the world’s most irritating ‘seeerthern’ accent and lack of acting talent in a story that’s painfully predictable with its dire one-character-quest to solve all the injustices in the world by sorting out one problem. And this is up for best film and best actress? God, help us all.

That anger being put aside now, I’ll now focus on the nominees who I think should win. They will not of course. “Avatar” will scoop all the statues because the award panel loved the series of shiny blue lights as opposed to a proper film. And as with last year’s “Slumdog Millionaire,” my faith in the awards show will slip even further.

From the Best Picture category, if there were any justice, “Inglourious Basterds” would be your surefire winner. The story and set pieces are masterfully constructed. How often is it that a film can jump at whiplash speed from hilarious comedy to deathly seriousness within seconds? Quentin Tarantino’s script is nothing but pure cinematic brilliance, the acting is top class, and if you aren’t dying of laughter because of Brad Pitt’s Italian accent, get your head examined. With that in mind, if Christoph Waltz does not win the Best Supporting Actor for the hilarious but maliciously terrifying Hans “The Jew Hunter” Landa, it would be cinema’s biggest scandal since “The Dark Knight” wasn’t up for Best Film. Tarantino has been robbed of Oscars for too long.

My runner-up surprise winner hands down would be to “District 9,” the superb alien sci-fi used as a metaphor to mirror the South African apartheid. The scrupulously close attention to detail, the story and directing are all mesmerizing. With the fairly limited budget and the fact that this was director Neil Blomkamp’s first film, just makes it a stunning achievement. That is how you do good sci-fi, Mr. James Cameron.

With regards to animated film, the clear (and if you are a betting person) odds on favorite to win would be Pixar’s “Up.” I, however, am strongly rooting for the underdog in the form of “Coraline,” the beautifully terrifying fairytale, which in 3-D, is one of the most enriching visual treats ever invented in life.

With regards to acting accolades, Anna Kendrick in “Up In The Air” is an absolute revelation as she steps out of the shadow of “Twilight,” helping to save what would have otherwise been a slightly dull film. As I am disappointed that Saorise Ronan isn’t up for best actress for “The Lovely Bones,” my choice would be for newcomer Carey Mulligan in “An Education,” a role of such magnitude which proves that this fresh face will be lighting up our screens for many years to come. For Best Actor? While I haven’t seen the film, Jeff Bridges is one of the few consistent actors out there in Hollywood, and like Johnny Depp, his Oscar for an acting role is long overdue.

And finally, while of course this will make very little sense to most readers of this column, for the best animated short I am putting all my efforts into willing the peerless and plasticine “Wallace and Gromit – A Matter Of Loaf and Death” to be the winner. It is a small piece of British culture from the genius Aardman Animations, involving the hilarious adventures of a man and his dog, who is incidentally, one of my all-time character heroes. If you haven’t seen them, then I order you to YouTube it now!

After all these years of claiming I know better than the Oscars, I’m beginning to suspect now that my invitation was never actually lost in the mail.