In summertime, a special magic fills the air. The flowers bloom, people go tanning, the sun hangs overhead (unless you live in Washington state) and terrible movies fill the theaters (courtesy of M. Night Shyamalan).

Aside from these phenomena, summer brings with it summer madness — a wave of temporary insanity that sweeps across the nation every year. I cannot be the only person who has noticed the trend. But for those of you oblivious to America’s collective summer brain melt, let me fill you in.

First, the LeBron James free agency fiasco damaged everyone involved. James is now a public villain with ESPN producers looking like his personal minions, heeding his every whim.

Cleveland Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert publicly released a nasty letter about his former player, calling James a cowardly, narcissistic traitor. It is the only letter ever written in which you can actually hear the writer whining as you read it.

Luckily, Rev. Jesse Jackson lent some much needed logic and understanding to this debacle by claiming Gilbert has a “slave master mentality.” I now expect Rush Limbaugh to weigh in on this controversy by calling Jackson a “black nationalist.” This needs to stop before it snowballs out of control.

In another bout of summer insanity, Colton Harris-Moore, better known as the “Barefoot Bandit” was finally brought to justice last week in the Bahamas. Much of the country, particularly the Pacific Northwest, is mourning the capture of a modern-day American folk hero. Clearly, American standards for heroes have dropped considerably over the years. We have gone from the Founding Fathers, Abraham Lincoln, Davy Crockett and war veterans to a thief from Camano Island.

Harris-Moore’s actions are much more narcissistic than anything LeBron James has done. Harris-Moore stole from the rich, gave to himself, stole from the poor, ran from authorities and then stole some more. If greed is the predominant factor in naming someone a folk hero, I guess that makes Bernard Madoff a Robin Hood.

Speaking of greed, the BP oil spill in the Gulf Coast is finally capped. There really is not a lot I can add to this travesty. Let me just put it all in perspective by reminding you that initial solutions to fix the spill included stuffing the pipe with golf balls or using a water-purification device invented by actor Kevin Costner.

For yet another outbreak of summer madness, look no further than Sullivan Correctional Facility in upstate New York, where convicted serial killer David Berkowitz, better known as “the Son of Sam,” is a celebrity among born-again Christians. The New York Times reports Berkowitz has engaged in interviews and promotions with various evangelical Christian groups since the 1990s. I am not a born-again Christian, but if I were, I would not want a serial killer representing me.

If you still deny the existence of summer madness, may I point out past cases such as the hysteria surrounding Michael Jackson’s death, New York’s infamous summer of ‘77, any summer in the hippie-infested decade of the ‘60s and the yearly release of awful summer movies that people flock to see.

For now, take comfort in your sparkly vampire movies and know that once summer is over, America will come to its senses — more or less.